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Painkiller: Hell

Up until yesterday, the worst level of any game I’ve played was “Who Turned Out The Light?” in Earthworm Jim. The title gives a hint as to what it’s about. Imagine a 2D scroller. Now imagine a 2D scroller set in pitch darkness. It was every bit as bad as you would imagine it would be.

As of yesterday, I now have a new standard for Worst Game Level Ever: the fourth level of the fifth chapter of Painkiller.

It’s better known as Hell.
Painkiller: Hell
It’s been deemed memorable by others and I will concede it is indeed that. It’s memorable in a “just-ripped-out-your-toenails” or “accidentally-formatted-your-HDD” way.

“Not pleasant” is the message I’m trying to convey.

I’ll not give away nitty-gritty details of what it’s all about but if you’re really curious, there’s a Youtube video showing someone completing it in less than 4 minutes. I, on the other hand, took four sessions to beat the Ultimate Bad Guy and complete the level. At the end, I felt no delight or even satisfaction. Just relief that it was finally over.

My mood did not improve when I later checked a FAQ and discovered I had actually killed the final boss … accidentally.

I can appreciate why the designer(s) would want to put the player off-balance by changing the rules a little. After all, FPS are simple games and after 23 levels, a player would be sufficiently adept at running and gunning that designers are left with only two choices when it comes to providing a stiff challenge: ramp up the hitpoints and offensive power of foes or unsettling the player by tweaking the environ or the rules.

The Hell level should be made the textbook definition of “unsettling the player.” I was left floundering around with little idea of what I had to do to beat the UBG; this wasn’t challenging, just annoying.

What a poor way to end what was otherwise an entertaining shooter.

(More screenshots after the break.)
Continued…

Posted in Games.


Elsewhere on the web

Protoform Optimus Prime.
An extraordinary repaint by pairadocs.

Michael Bay, your Optimus Prime sucks.

Better Vista performance with XP drivers?
“After about 10 driver installs, I discovered that Windows XP Forceware Version: 81.98 seems to be the last working ‘Vista compatible’ XP driver … It even benchmarked better in Vista than it did in XP.”

Posted in Web.


Guild Wars links

ArenaNet waves the banstick.
“We may be banning more in the coming days, but we will most likely choose to not ban more than we will choose to ban. The decision is ours and will be based on a lot of factors, principal being whether it’s reasonable to assume that the player knew he/she was getting ill-gotten goods.” Summary: players duplicate vast quantities of a valuable item using the reconnect feature and flood the market. (Related: 1, 2, 3.)

MMOs don’t need fees for server costs.
“… the fact is servers don’t really cost all that much to maintain when it comes down to it. You don’t need a monthly fee to maintain servers.”

Gamespy interviews Jeff Grubb. [via]
“‘With GW:EN … we’re experimenting with the way we tell a story. How much of story weight should regular quests carry versus the big missions?'”

Posted in Guild Wars, Web.


Elsewhere on the web

Kaiyodo Assemble Borg.
Amazingly, these look more interchangeable than Microman. If Kaiyodo can avoid any niggling QC issues, these will sell really well. More: 1, 2, 3, 4. (Related.)

Ramayan.
PDF format previews of comics based on a classic Hindu text. The comic is going to be adapted as an MMO. I have two words for you: religious grind.

Crime of the year.

Posted in Web.


TM versus the world

Let’s see Bono save Africa from this:
TM to expand in Africa
The TM in question is “Telekom Malaysia”, a telecommunications company which today received international ridicule for its incompetence.

Malaysians have long been aware of the company’s dubious practices. Users of Telekom Malaysia’s ADSL broadband service, Streamyx, frequently have cause for complaint as service interruptions, regular disconnections, slowdowns and bandwidth throttling are part and parcel of the Streamyx experience.

This is a company with customer relations so bad those customers are considering spending over USD4300 for an advertisement in the newspaper to show just how dissatisfied they are.

Posted in General.