I’m mentioned before about wanting a Game Boy Advance SP but I didn’t run through the reasons why.

The portability is a big plus, of course. The machine itself is easily pocketable and the game paks (that’s how Nintendo spells “cartridges”) are small enough that you can keep a number of them in another pocket.

Unlike PC games, I don’t have to bother checking the minimum and recommended systems requirements for a GBA game. Simply plug and play.

I don’t have to uninstall other software due to insufficient hard disk space.

There aren’t any patches to download and I’m not left feeling like I’m paying developers for the dubious honour of beta testing their buggy games.

There aren’t any infuriating software security schemes that interfere with other software on my PC.

Unlike consoles, the GBA SP doesn’t have a regional coding scheme so I don’t have to worry about compatibility with my unit.

Granted, there are some things you have to get past before you can enjoy gaming on the GBA SP.

The tiny low resolution screen and the anime-inspired graphics with bright, colourful kiddy-friendly palettes take some getting use to and the sound and music can be a little grating. (I’m grateful the machine comes with a volume control.) It seems very much an 80s gaming platform.

But on the whole, I think it’s an excellent hassle-free gaming platform.

In theory.

“Arr!” “Grr!”

Anyway, I got a silver-coloured GBA SP and the clunkily-named Super Mario Advance 4: Super Mario Brothers 3 for RM450 yesterday.

I thought it was a good deal until I discovered a short while later the cartridge was a bootleg. This led me to confront the salespeople and the owner of the place where I had purchased it from and a high decibel frank exchange of views ensued.

The sheer amount of lies they came up with to explain away their transgression was astonishing. They kept insisting the bootleg cartridge was the real deal and when asked for a refund they said they would have to recalculate the price of the GBA SP. Why? Well, they had the gall to claim the AC adapter and the rechargeable battery were sold separately. I’m completely amazed they weren’t struck by a lightning bolt there and then.

(Although considering I was in the immediate vicinity, this was perhaps a good thing.)

Exasperated and exhausted by arguing with these unscrupulous lowlifes, I gave up. I’m glad my venting at the very least made the sleazeballs squirm like the worms they are. If this teaches them not to treat future customers like prospective marks then this would have been worth it. I’m not too optimistic about that happening, though.

I don’t intend them to let them get away scot free but I think it’s best to fight smart instead of fighting hard. I think a post on one of our local gaming forums would do nicely to spread the word about these guys. I may have been burnt but I could do my part to ensure others aren’t conned as well.

The attack of the clones

But that’s the main problem I have with GBA games — the availability. It’s tough to get originals locally. Local retailers will tell you it’s flat out impossible but I suppose that’s mainly because they want you to purchase their bootlegs.

And as I discovered myself, local retailers are not averse to slapping on price tags with original prices on the bootleg versions and passing them off as originals.

This wouldn’t be an issue if it was easy to tell the originals and the bootlegs apart. Unfortunately, it’s not. The bootleg packages are convincing and they even include colour manuals. (However, a close check of the text on the packaging and manual would show enough typos to set alarm bells ringing.)

Nintendo suggests opening the cartridge to make sure but I can’t see retailers acquiescing to that. You could try checking the visible part of PCB board at the bottom of the cartridge for the Nintendo copyright but again, it’s not especially easy.

I had thought of getting games from eBay but it would appear that most GBA games sold there are bootlegs as well.

I’m sure I’ll eventually find a source for original GBA games and I’m determined to do so because there are a couple of titles I’m really keen on.

Title contenders

I usually pass on the type of arcade (a.k.a action) games the GBA SP excels in because I can’t help feeling like a lab rat when I play them. The developers are essentially training you to press the right button at the right moment.

It doesn’t help matters that my reflexes are a bit lacking. I was embarrassed at how easily those frickin’ cutesy creatures and plants in SMA4:SMB3 were kicking my ass. I’m hearing “Oh, mamma mia!” a lot as Mario expires time and time again. It’s a steep learning curve for me but I like the challenge.

(It’s not my favourite gaming genre but I’ve had my favourites. Xenon II: Megablast on the Atari ST comes to mind as do Mortal Kombat II on the PC and Soul Blade on the PlayStation.)

The nice thing about GBA arcade games is it’s possible to have a quick game in a brief amount time. I can pretty much complete a level in SMA4:SMB3 in the same time it takes my Windows XP-powered PC to boot-up.

(Well, I could if I wasn’t “Oh, mamma mia!”-ing a lot.)

But strategy gamers need not feel left out because there are some highly rated GBA SP games available. Advance Wars and its sequel, Advance Wars II: Black Hole Rising, have received rave reviews with some even favourably comparing the games with (gasp!) the legendary Panzer General.

As I said earlier, the only problem is finding a source for the originals.

In the meantime, it’s back to Mario.

Ah, a mushroom. Now feel my wrat- …

“Oh, mamma mia!”

Christ.