It may be called the Game Boy Advance but don’t let that fool you into thinking it only plays games. You could also use the GBA as a videoconferencing device, a GPS/mapping system, a movie player, e-book reader, an instant messenger, a digicam and a real-time display for Le Mans racing information and results.

Oh, and here’s some good news for quadriplegics and really kinky gamers: it’s also capable of being operated with only the tongue.

All that in a really tough shell.

Emasculate

1. Deprive of strength or vigour.

2. Remove the testicles of a male animal

e.g. “Being humbled by villains named ‘Goombas’ and ‘Koopa Troopa’ is really emasculating.”

I’m currently playing Super Mario Advance 4: Super Mario Bros. 3 on the GBA SP and as you might gather, it hasn’t been the smoothest of experiences.

I’m pretty damned sure I’d still be stuck on the initial levels if it weren’t for the save game option. The FAQs and guides on GameFAQs helped, too. Still, it took me an embarrassingly long time to get past the dastardly Larry Koopa at the end of World 1.

Having done so, though, I now feel confident I can beat this game. So bring on World 2. Give me your best shots, Micro-Goombas, I can tak- …

“Oh, mamma mia!”

Sigh.

Tomorrow’s word of the day: Chagrin.