He’s only 18 years of age. He hasn’t played competitively in three months. He’s got the burden of living up to a 27 million pound price tag. He’s making his debut in front of 60,000 expectant fans.

So what does Wayne Rooney do? He produces the first hat-trick of his senior career as Manchester United thrash Fenerbahce 6-2 in a Champions League Group D match at Old Trafford. (Reports: BBC, Soccernet, Guardian, ManUtd.com.)

(We’ll ignore the Guardian reader who mischievously suggested the 18-year-old’s first hat-trick came at a Liverpool house of ill-repute.)

In the unlikely event you’re unimpressed by that achievement, I point you to David Meek’s assessment. Meek’s been covering Manchester United for 46 years and he says Rooney’s explosive debut was better than Beckham’s, Best’s, Law’s or Cantona’s.

The Old Trafford crowd were chanting “What a waste of money” with tongues firmly in cheeks but I’m fervently hoping Rooney doesn’t end up squandering his talent the way others did.