Dec

22

RED versus BLU

Filed Under Games | Leave a Comment

Here’s where I stand after one week of playing Team Fortress 2.
Team Fortress 2: Stats after one week
There is enough of an improvement to make me cling to the hope of one day of appearing competent.

The key word there: appearing.

As one might surmise from the name, Team Fortress 2 is the sequel to Cooking Mama. No, it’s not. It’s actually the sequel to 1999’s Team Fortress Classic, in turn a remake of a Quake mod released in 1996. No cooking is involved whatsover. Wait, there is the Pyro. Okay, some cooking.

The game features two teams locked in eternal struggle. What is the source of the conflict? Did the RED Spy once sleep with the BLU Engineer’s wife? Did the BLU Heavy beat up the RED Scout in kindergarten? Regardless of the reasons, two teams are now in a constant state of conflict. The red versus the blue. No quarter asked, no quarter given. Wait for the countdown, let the gates open and let loose the dogs of war.

The dogs in this case come in nine different breeds. The Heavy lays down suppressive fire and absorbs more damage than any other class, the Medic heals and buffs, the Sniper specialises in placing eBay bids at the last moment … wait, no, he doesn’t.

The diversity in classes leads to different experiences for no two classes play alike. The neophyte should quickly find a class to his or her liking. The patient gamer will undoubtedly opt for the Sniper, quiet and forgotten until he announces his presence with a lethal headshot. The sly gamer will choose the Spy, invisibly stalking her unsuspecting prey before the fatal stab in the back. The berserker will take to the Heavy, stomping around the battlefield, minigun blazing away, intimidating everyone before him.

While each class is relatively easy to figure out, trying to decode the various synergies and interactions between different classes can take a while. Each class may have its strengths but there are counters to each and every one. Take, for instance, the Heavy. He may be stronger than others and the hot lead sprayed from his minigun may make mincemeat of foes but he is not as unconquerable as he might seem. His ponderous speed on the battlefield makes him susceptible to the Spy’s backstab or the Sniper’s deadly headshot.

Ping and lag

This is a pure online PvP game. There’s no single player mode, no bots to beat up on. You’re thrown straight into battle against other players.

The great news is there are a number of different servers with ultra-low pings available to local gamers. Malaysian and Singapore servers will have pings less than 100 and if those are empty or full, servers in New Zealand and Australia are still playable with pings less than 200. In the 12 years I’ve been playing online games, I’ve never experienced pings this low.

That’s not to say there’s no lag involved.

TF2 was first released in October 2007 and a year is an eternity in online gaming. Plenty of time to sharpen skills, to know the maps like the back of one’s hand, time enough to establish winning plans.

Pity the newbie, lagging behind in terms of skill and experience, for death and abuse await him at every corner. Opponents will welcome the new player as fodder for a bump in scores; teammates will curse him for him cluelessness.

As with most games, knowing how to play is easy; knowing how to play well is a different matter altogether. The consolation is win, lose or draw, the game remains entertaining.

Dec

20

My Allegedly Best TF2 Moments

Filed Under Games | Leave a Comment

Team Fortress 2: stats, more stats and masochistic
Stats that aren’t recorded

Decibel level of loudest scream of rage and frustration after being killed by the same goddamned spy six times in a row.

Highest number of expletives yelled out in a round.

Number of times “lag” or “internet connection” is blamed for deaths in a round.

Number of times killed just as ubercharge is ready.

Number of times you’re switched to a losing team for balance.

Highest number of 4-chan memes observed during a round.

Highest number of times killed without accomplishing anything whatsoever.

Dec

13

High speed like a bad dream

Filed Under General | Leave a Comment

Streamyx: high speed ... like a bad dream
(Original image source.)

I’ve been a Streamyx user for over five years now. I do not stay with the the service out of affection or loyalty; I do it because I lack alternatives. If there was a better broadband service available in my area, I’d jump ship in a heartbeat. There are times when two tins and a piece of string might seem to provide a better service than what Streamyx provides. The service is terrible and remarkably, it’s getting worse.

Like many things in Malaysia, all Streamyx IP addresses are equal but some are more equal than others. Technically speaking, regardless of what IP address you get, you will still be able to surf the internet. Realistically speaking, your experiences with different IP addresses will be startlingly different.

If you get an IP address in the 118.100.*.* or 115.133.*.* range, you can rest assured your ADSL modem will be only a slight improvement over two rusted tins and a piece of string. It is literally dial-up speed on these IP addresses. I’m seeing pages download at speeds measured in bytes per second. This is high speed “like a bad dream”.

The IP address range that delivers broadband speeds is 60.49.*.*. This may be different for Streamyx users elsewhere in the country. Different location, different DSLAM, different experience.

Unfortunately, getting the magical 60.49.*.* IP address is far from easy. I have to play a game I call the Streamyx IP lottery. If I win, I earn myself broadband speeds. Sites load faster, files download faster, the entire surfing experience is smoother. If I lose, I experience the internet at dial-up speeds circa 1996.

Playing this game involves repeatedly connecting and disconnecting my Internet connection until I get that coveted IP address. The game gets complicated because users are temporarily prevented from connecting after half a dozen connecting/disconnecting cycles in a short period of time.

I do not like playing this game but it’s something I have to do since I need broadband speeds to update my various sites.

Screamyx

Take a look at any Malaysian internet forum and you will find a steady stream of Streamyx user complaints. Another company might be moved to act; TM Net, the Malaysian telco operating Streamyx, has no real incentive to do this. It has the backing and protection of the government and, like other ISPs, is also quick to point out that all services rendered are done on a best effort basis.

The problem here is TM Net’s best effort is not only not good, it’s not even decent. It’s simply terrible is what it is and if terrible service is the result of the company’s best efforts, one only shudders to think about what might happen if it decides to slack off.

TM Net’s usual response to customer complaints is to shrug, continue to oversell Streamyx and blame others for shortcomings. These “others” includes the customers themselves.

Frustratingly, Streamy users are indeed part of the problem.

It’s the buffet mentality, really. Anyone who has seen Malaysians at a free buffet will know what I’m talking about. There’s a segment of the local population — this would be the crass, boorish, obnoxious segment — who will run, yes, run to the buffet table in order to quickly pile on more food on their plates than they can ever hope to eat.

Bittorrent and Rapidshare are the online equivalents to the buffet, of course, and thus a 24×7 connection must be used 24×7 to download everything under the sun. TV shows, Japanese cartoons, the entire ouevre of Rocco Siffredi, amateur Italian proctologist … if it’s online, it must be downloaded by these gluttons.

So, that’s the problem. And the solution? Well, I don’t know, really. All I know is I have to keep playing the lottery on a daily basis until the situation gets better, and as long as TM Net gets to hide behind the government and the “best effort” claim, it doesn’t look like the situation will get better any time soon.

Maybe I ought to try that two tins-and-a-string alternative …

Dec

11

Honours even

Filed Under General | Leave a Comment

United don’t get the win they arguably deserve but Aalborg get the draw they’ve earned.

United top the group, which was what Sir Alex wanted, but the main story here is Tevez. The Argentinian could’ve scored another four instead the one he ended up with. His overeagerness to score is hurting his chances of winning a permanent place in United first eleven.

Dec

11

2-2

Filed Under General | Leave a Comment

Park and Scholes on. Scholes to Anderson who comes up with a defence-splitting pass as he falls. Rooney gets on the end of it and neatly slots it past the keeper.

Next Page →